Today, I introduce "Enryo", the manner which may be unique to
Japanese culture.
In my opinion, there could be many English translations of the
concept. So, I may not be able to tell the accurate meaning of "Enryo".
I show you an example.
Last Friday, I went to old woman's house with a lawyer
on business. I did office work of the contract for sale of real estates.
After the business, we received the fee of the work.
Furthermore, our client gave us additional fee.
I did not expect the additional fee. Because the amount of
expense charge has been already decided.
I hesitated to get the additional fee.
I actually, I said, no, no, no....
I think my behavior came from the feeling of "Enryo".
In our daily life, I sometimes see such scenes.
On Japanese manner, we reject people's kindness once.
That behavior has the meaning of modesty in our culture.
In this scene, even I say "no", it does not mean
"I don't like it.".
In my opinion, people behave like that
because they think they do not deserve to receive such kindness or praise.
I do not know well about other cultures.
Do you sometimes see these scenes in your culture?
5 comments:
There is in Thailand including me but less and less practice these day. Some people will think that you really mean it if you say 'no'.
It is normal in Bulgaria, where it is often not money, but useful gifts that are given (Bulgaria is relatively poor country). I think giving extra payment is part of building relationships. People tend to call the same people for help when it is needed, so they make the relationship stronger with gifts.
In this case, we aften decline the extra money, with consideration that the person that gives it also needs it. But often, after that we accept the gift anyway.
Here in Denmark, I don't think it is that common to offer and accept extra payment.
To Shantal ForSD
Yes, I guess most of culture
may have this practice.
It's interesting to hear people
give gifts to build stronger relationship. This idea seems to
be normal worldwidely.
In Australia, most clients give small gifts of food, chocolate or wine in order to show their appreciation. It is seen as suspicious if a client offers you a cash gift or a large gift as it implies that they want you to act in an unethical manner.
If you are a legal practitioner, you must refuse a cash gift or any gift that isn't modest (i.e was very expensive).
Kindly explain to me if she really wants my help or not. I am a Filipino and A Japanese friend of mine was in financial problem. I offered some help, but she refused. Then, she told me after two months that she was really in financial trouble, I don't know If I need to offer or asked her one more time about giving her some money. But my pride got over me because I don't want to be rejected again. Now I'm confused If I'll extend help or not.
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